Tuesday, May 15, 2007

The Beginning

Hello Babylon,

Many of you will never get the chance to unveil what goes on behind the makeup, perfume and lingerie of America's most taboo strip clubs. Many of you will never understand, because from the outside looking in, it's almost impossible. My job and mission is to try to explain it, and make the issue a little more comfortable for you.

I am an average American girl. I grew up in a stepfamily, as the oldest of five siblings, my father having passed when I was young. When I was young, we were low-middle class, but as I grew older we became low-upper class, and although we had more money, my parents were still very frugal about what I was and was not allowed to do based on how much money my parents would give me, and how much I could make working part-time temporary jobs. I graduated early at age 17, moved out and started college, where I absolutely flourished. I attended a major university somewhat close to home, within driving distance, but far enough away where I wouldn't bump into people I knew at the mall or grocery store. While I was in my freshman year of college, I created myself, book by book, essay by essay, friend by friend, night by night into the person I am now. I became completely infatuated with metaphysics, spirituality, religion, the universe, buddhist philosophy, yoga, gonzo journalism, old music from the 60s and 70s like the byrds, bob dylan, the grateful dead and a myriad of other neo-hippie interests. I started attending music festivals, where masses of people would gather in fields for days on end and wander around floating in the music. I became deeply connected with nature, and would go daily to the park to just sit and write and meditate. As a social science major, I became drawn to study other cultures and countries outside my own, and developed an insatiable urge to GET OUT. This urge could not simply be willed, I would not transport myself to Thailand to a Buddhist monk temple, I could not simply teleport to Egypt to tour the pyramids and dig up artifacts, I would never be able to do the plethora of things I wanted to do without money. I tried looking up "volunteer opportunities" via the internet and travel agencies for students to go and live in a foreign country and help with teaching children english or other services, but even these required thousands of dollars to even consider them being an option.

I moved back in the my parents for the summer and the pressure was on to get a job. After futile efforts to get a nice restaurant to hire me with no serving experience ( I had done every job under the sun EXCEPT serving) I gave up, and rested for a week. I went to the park and played guitar in the sun. I went to the beach. I stayed up late on friends porches smoking cloves and talking about my big plans that seemed stagnant and fixed in space.

I had taken a couple women's studies courses the previous semester, and while they preached about being a "sex-positive feminist" and owning your sexuality, being proud of your body, not being ashamed of your sexuality and being sexually active, the books demonized adult industries like exotic dancing. I had always been extremely sexual, starting with my exploration of my sexuality at age 14 with another girl, and losing my virginity my freshman year of high school, much earlier than my peers. I never considered myself a "slut", in fact, I hated that word. Using the word slut just enables men to use it against women, so even in gym locker rooms when girls would get in arguments with me and toss around words like whore, slut and skank, I always resisted. I always knew that women were powerful. We hold a very special energy that we can use to our advantage. We have power; through our words, our bodies, our actions; to achieve whatever goals we truly desire.

And so, it is with that mindset that I made the decision to use my power to my advantage and work as an exotic dancer. I knew that I would never let myself become one of those 40 year old women who was still up on stage shaking her ass, I knew that I could stay grounded and use it as a stepping stone to get myself to a place where I could achieve my goals. I read Arthur Golden's "Memoirs of a Geisha" and instantly found a parallel, although several decades difference, between the traditional Japanese geishas and the world of modern day exotic dancing.

Geishas are entertainers, used to stimulate the male ego, to provide conversation, to titillate the senses, albeit through very subtle flicks of the wrist and gentle movements that SEEM demure, it was all about the tease. Geishas wore shoes 8 to 11 inches high, that made them seem to float above everyone else, and although it seemed impossible to walk in, they did, with much grace and beauty. Exotic dancers (in the gentlemen's clubs) are entertainers, the first thing a dancer will do upon entering the floor is find a gentleman and strike up a conversation, if the male ego is stimulated enough, the man will ask for a dance, or the dancer will (with class and a demure, coy attitude) allude to a private dance. Like Geisha's shoes, although not as high, dancers wear platform heels anwhere from 5 to 9 inches tall, and perform acrobatics, strut with an air of confidence, and float all over the room. As far as the facade goes, Geishas wore white face paint, except for 2 v-shaped areas of skin left bare at the nape of the neck, to let the men see a glimpse of what was underneath. They wore elaborate kimonos, nipped tight at the waist, and bright cherry blossom red lips, subconsciously indicating to the men that they were desirable. Like Geisha's, dancers wear elaborate, feminine hairstyles, makeup used to indicate that they are healthy and desirable, and costumes or lingerie to help with the act of entertaining. To step into a Geisha's or an exotic dancer's world is to enter a world of an actress. It is a facade, it is power-play, it is sex-positive feminism at work.

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